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I’ll admit it — I’ve been tough on Joe Biden. I always saw him as the quintessential sleazy politician, ever since he grinned through the takedown of Judge Bork. And his time in the White House? Let’s just say it was… eventful.
I’ve written plenty about Biden and how the media ran cover for him. But something strange happened recently — something Jake Tapper might want to dig into for his next book. Snopes will probably be all over it, but I swear this is the “God’s truth, man, this happened – no joke, I am not making this up.”
A few days ago, I was walking on Malibu beach with my wife and some friends. Ahead of us, we saw an older woman wearing a sundress more suited for someone half her age. She looked flustered and was juggling beach gear, including a pair of chairs. As I got closer, I realized — it was Jill Biden. Naturally, I wondered, “Where’s Joe?”
There he was, a few steps behind her, sprawled out on the sand like a flipped-over stinkbug. Joe was waving his arms and legs, clearly struggling. Then he shouted:
“I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
Whether Dr. Jill didn’t hear him or just ignored it, the Secret Service came to the rescue and helped Joe to his feet. They trailed behind Jill, leaving behind a bit of a mess. As we walked past, I noticed a notebook, some scattered papers, and what looked like a mock-up of a book cover.
It turned out to be a first draft of Joe Biden’s new memoir — complete with a foreword by none other than Hunter Biden.
Now, I didn’t want to take the materials — I remembered how Ashley Biden’s diary situation ended — so I snapped some photos of the pages and the cover and left everything else in the sand.
Readers, you’re getting the first look at what might just be Joe Biden’s most revealing work yet. It’s bound to make waves. Sort of.
Hunter Biden’s Foreword:
“Pardon me for saying this and being so blunt, but F*** yeah! the Big Guy is my dad and and he kept me employed even when I couldn’t get a job as a night manager at a McDonalds. I was the first son of the Fing president! Man, and have I mentioned that he was the president. I’ve read his other book, you know the one that was ghost written and used classified documents to make a point and F man, this book is gonna be a corker. I couldn’t put it down! I mean like crack is better than booze this book is better than ‘Profiles in Courage!’”
I edited Hunter’s remarks slightly for clarity — the original was short on punctuation and heavy on F-bombs.
Page One of Joe’s Memoir (Handwritten):
“It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. I remember growing up as a poor black child. I mean it man, no joke! Sure I was born a Biden and I was proud to be the nephew of a man who, before he was eaten by cannibals, had won the Medal of Honor, but my dad and mom made certain that I was engrained with the culture of folks who lived around us.
Every Sunday, before we went to Catholic Mass, we attended the only gay Black Puerto Rican church in Scranton. It wasn’t advertised as gay, but I saw a couple of gay men kissing each other in that church and my dad told me, ‘Son, love is love.’ By the age of 5 I was sure I was Black, and my dad told me, he said ‘Joey, if you make it to MLB, and pass Babe Ruth homerun record, great, but if not, you’re gonna be the first black president or the first Vice President to the first Black president.’ I’m not kidding, man. He said that. Word for word. I said, ‘How do you know that, Dad?’
He said, ‘Joey, we’re Bidens. We know stuff that no one else does.’
When we moved to Delaware we were the only white folks allowed to attend Nelson Mandela rallies. My dad looked at me at one of the rallies and asked me what I thought.
I looked up and said one word.
‘FWEEEDOMMM!’”
As God as my witness, man, I swear it happened.
